


Christmas Toys

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Holidays [18]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Batman: The Dark Prince Charming (Comics), Harleen - Fandom, Harley Quinn (Comics), Joker - Fandom, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Christmas, Crossdressing, F/M, Flavored Lube, Gotham City - Freeform, Sex Toys, Shameless Smut, Smut, Toys, food court, going to the mall, non-abusive Joker and Harley Quinn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:27:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21731245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: Joker and Harley go to the mall
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel
Series: Gotham Holidays [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/603136
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31





	Christmas Toys

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RoyalFlushGang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyalFlushGang/gifts).



> Wrote this for my very best friend :)

It was Christmas eve and Gotham City was covered in snow. A severe winter storm had rolled in, forcing the closure of many streets and shutting down the airport, leaving the streets nearly empty. 

The snow made everything look more magical and more like Christmas to Harley as she pressed her nose to the cold window and looked out as more snow fell softly. 

Inside the car the sexy voice of Eartha Kitt sang “Santa Baby” while Frost drove through the snowy streets of Gotham. Next to him sat Bob, all dressed up in red, and trimmed in white from his red tutu to his Santa Claus hat cocked at a jaunty angle on his bald head. The big man had a candy cane in his mouth and was moving back and forth to the song, a delighted smile on his lips and his eyes bright and twinkling like Christmas lights. 

“Everything looks so pretty,” Harley said softly as she looked out the window in the back seat of Frost’s car, her elbows resting on the door. “I love all the Christmas lights. Gotham almost looks beautiful.” 

Joker, who had been staring at the dark rooftops as they drove along, trying to catch sight of a dark bat-like shape, glanced over at her. Harley was on her knees with her rear-facing him. He grinned gazing at her butt with a grin curling his lips. Harley was clad in a pair of red and black leggings paired with a black and red diamond-patterned sweater and a teddy bear black coat, her blonde hair pulled up in a messy bun that she had put several snowflake hair pins into giving the illusion that she had snow in her hair. 

“Mm...yep, I agree--everything looks pretty,” Joker eyed her behind, his grin broadening into a smile. 

He reached out and rubbed his hand over her rear in a gentle caress, causing Harley to squeal and laugh. She turned around flopping back into her seat. 

“Puddin!” She giggled. 

Joker smirked at her. “What? I like pretty things too. Just because one of those pretty things is your exquisite ass…” 

Harley giggled, giving him an elbow in the side. Harley thought he looked adorable in his purple Santa Claus coat and matching purple hat all trimmed in white fur over his favorite purple suit with the gold vest. He was very festive she thought. 

Joker gasped dramatically. “Did you attack me! That calls for a rebuttal!!” 

Joker thrust his finger into the air in a very cartoon villain gesture before he grabbed Harley and hauled her over his knees. Harley squealed, putting up a token resistance to him, but Joker was surprisingly strong for such a slender man--and she knew she would like whatever he did. He hauled her over and held her down, his hands on her rear. 

He gave her a playful smack on her rear, then giggled. “Ooh, it's like playing a drum!!” 

Harley squealed and struggled, really struggled this time, but Joker kept a firm hold on her drumming out a rhythm on her behind. 

“PUDDIN!! Stop it!!” Harley squirmed, but Joker only laughed. “I don't know, whatcha going to give me Harls?” 

Harley pouted. “It’s Christmas, Mistah J. You’re supposed to be nice at Christmas!” 

Joker snorted though he had stopped smacking on her rear. “Who said?! And where’s the fun in that! Being nice...phooey. I might as well throw on a batsuit and run around with old gloomy britches.” 

Harley rolled around and sat up on his lap. She put her arms around Joker’s shoulders. “Well, you do look good in black puddin.” 

Joker grinned at her, showing off his rows of perfect, white teeth. “I look good in everything.” 

Harley snuggled against him, kissing his cheek. “You do puddin, you do.” 

Joker chuckled and pulled her close. He began to nuzzle her neck, taking little nibbles of her ear. “Mm, I do like it when you agree with me Harls.” 

Harley giggled and cuddled close, glancing out the back to see the van behind them. 

She grinned wiggling a little when Joker found a particularly ticklish spot. “You think the gang is going to like this surprise?” 

Joker purred against her throat, making Harley squirm a little when she felt the brush of his red lips and warm breath against her skin. “Sure they will! We get to build teddy bears! What’s more fun than that? And Frost and Bob loaded up the truck with explosives and gas bombs just for tonight! It’s a great Christmas present! Besides...I thought of it, of course it's great!” 

Harley giggled. “It was my idea puddin.” 

Joker licked her ear, catching her earlobe playfully in his teeth and giving a gentle tug before he whispered. “Yes, but we’re married so that means we’re the same person. You know, one mind…” 

He slipped his hand between her legs and pressed gently. “One body…so all your good ideas are my good ideas and vice versa.” Joker rubbed his nose against her cheek. 

Harley chuckled jumping a little when he pressed his hand between her legs. “I don’t know if I want credit on that scheme of yours against Riddler last week. That was one bad.” 

Joker sighed and sat back with a small frown tugging down on his lips. “Ugh, do we have to bring that up again? That jerk just gets under my skin, okay? Maybe I was a little too focused on getting even and didn’t think my plan through as thoughtfully as I should have. Can you stop bringing it up?!” 

Harley grabbed Joker’s face between her hands, pushing his cheeks together to make his lips squish up. “Okay, sorry puddin. I promise I won’t bring it up...until after Christmas.” She gave him a devilish little smile before she kissed him. 

Joker sighed, giving up. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as close as possible before kissing her more thoroughly once Harley dropped her hands and wrapped her arms around his neck. Harley groaned, turning in his lap to straddle him. She moved her hands up to slide his Christmas hat off so she could twist her fingers in his hair. 

Joker licked her lips with his long tongue before plunging his tongue between her lips, reaching down to cup her rear with both hands, his fingers spread. 

Frost glanced in the rearview to see Joker and Harley occupied with making out with each other. He smirked, his eyes looking past them out the rear window at the van that was following them. He had needed to do some convincing to get Joker to agree to the unmarked van tonight. If Harley hadn’t agreed with him, Frost doubted Joker would have listened. He understood the Joker's love of theatrics, but having the gang drive around in the van painted in green and purple neon paint with JOKER’S FREE CANDY FOR KIDS written on the sides would definitely have attracted Batman’s attention even on a night like this. 

Frost turned his attention back to the road, humming along as Jingle Bell Rock began to play. He took another couple of turns, then pulled into the parking lot of the Gotham City MegaMall. He drove around to the far side of the mall where one of several service doors were located and pulled up along the curb to park by the door located in a little alcove-like area hidden in shadows, the one place that had little to no Christmas lights. He glanced in the rearview mirror to make sure Joker and Harley still had their clothes on before he announced. 

“We’re here Boss.” 

Joker made a muffled sound since Harley’s tongue was in his mouth, but when Harley pulled away he grinned. “We’re here Harls!” 

Harley squealed. “YES!! I’m going to make so many teddy bears!” 

Joker laughed. “You make as many bears as you want my sweets!” 

Frost turned the car off and got out, walking around to pull Joker’s door open for him. Harley nearly leaped out of the car in her excitement with Joker in tow; he managed to grab his Santa hat and following her. 

The van parked behind them. Harley looked back and could just see Archie’s head over the steering wheel, though his pointed clown hat was more visible than him. Archie turned off the van and the gang rolled out, all of them dressed in an array of clown or Christmas themed outfits. The assembled men and women hurried over to where Joker and Harley stood waiting in the snow for them. Joker clapped his gloved hands together, grinning brightly at everyone. “All right boys and girls, this is our Christmas surprise! We are going to break into the mall and have a mall adventure! Ending...now here’s the best part...ending with us all heading over to the Build-a-Friend and you are all going to get to build teddy bears! Or whatever fluffy monstrosity you want. I’ve brought a supply of Joker gas bombs and some good old explosive bombs so that everyone can make extras to bring back to the lair for future use but you all can build some fuzzy friends to keep in your beds at night. Merry Christmas!” 

The gang all looked at one another, but Archie said loudly. “So is this like our Christmas bonus Boss?” 

Joker glanced at Harley with a frown and whispered against her ear. “Do we pay them?” 

Harley shrugged glancing over at Frost who nodded. “Frost says we do.” 

Joker frowned clearly surprised. “Well, you know…” He turned back to Archie. “Ah...sure...it’s your bonus.” Joker grinned. “The mall is ours tonight my boys and girls! We are going to have a ball!” 

Archie sighed and muttered under his breath. “Figures. I hate balls.” 

Joker ignored Archie. “All right. Everyone ready? 

The gang all murmured then one of the young women, a blonde with purple streaks in her hair jumped up and down. “YES!! TEDDY BEARS!!” 

Harley clapped. “Now that is the Christmas spirit!” 

Joker laughed and motioned. “All right boys and girls, let’s go have some Christmas Cheer!!” 

This time the cheering was more enthusiastic--except for Archie with rolled his eyes--pulling out an old looking and crumbped cigar from the pocket of his clown costume and stuck it between his lips. 

Joker grinned happily putting his arm out to Harley. “Shall we my dear?” 

Harley hooked her arm with his. “Yes Mistah J, we shall!” 

Joker threw out his other arm pointing at the door in front of them. “Bob, the door!!” 

Bob nodded, ignoring the security pad by the door and with a powerful kick, the big man in the tutu kicked down the door. 

* 

The Gotham City Megamall was four floors, with nearly 500 stores and only two security guards on the night shift. Financial cuts had been rough; malls were falling in popularity as more people chose to shop at local stores (or order online) instead of big chain stores. The mall had been forced to cut costs in order to make a profit, and one of the first cuts had come to the night shift security. The dayshift security still had more than half its people, but nightshift now consisted of Vanessa Harper and her partner Eduardo Dorrance. 

Vanessa sighed and took a sip of her coffee she had just purchased out of the vending machine in the security staff break room as she looked over the security feeds; cameras were positioned everywhere throughout the mall. The mall was decked out for Christmas. The center of the mall where Santa sat had a huge red and green decorated Christmas tree along with a red and gold throne for Santa to sit in. It looked pretty neat, she thought. 

As she scanned the monitors, Vanessa could see Eduardo on the camera, his hands around his eyes as he struggled to peer into the Victoria’s Secret store. She sighed shaking her head, that man was such a perv. He was a good guy, but a perv. The camera suddenly turned to snow, then snapped back on. She picked up her baton, which she had laid on the desk when she suddenly saw one of the employee doors go flying across the screen. 

Vanessa’s made a muffled yelp of surprise, physically jumping when she saw the door go flying off the screen, but then her mouth went dry as she saw the Joker and Harley Quinn enter the mall arm in arm, followed a few seconds later by several people in costume. 

“Oh shit,” Vanessa hissed in shock. 

She grabbed her walkie and brought it up to her mouth. She hissed, “Eduardo! Eduardo!!” 

She could see Eduardo on the camera turning. Clearly he must have heard the door being broken down, but he looked confused. “EDUARDO!!!” Vanessa snarled into her walkie just as the camera went out again only to come back a few seconds later. 

Eduardo jumped a foot and grabbed at his walkie, the device slipping from his grasp and nearly hitting the floor before Eduardo brought it up to his mouth. “What the fuck was that Vanessa?” 

Vanessa’s voice dropped to a whisper as if she were afraid that Joker and Harley would hear her. The security guard had lost sight of them on the cameras, two of which hadn’t come back on. 

“I just saw Joker and Harley break in!” Vanessa looked at the cameras that were still on, trying to locate them. She saw a few of the people who had come in with them running up one of the escalators that was currently off, but she didn’t see the gang’s leaders. Her eyes darted around frantically, but just then another camera went black. 

Eduardo laughed. “Oh haha, good one Vanessa.” 

“I’m not joking Eduardo! I saw them!” Vanessa exclaimed. Another camera went out. “The cameras keep going out!” 

Eduardo frowned in confusion. “Why would they do that? I mean, there isn’t any money here...well...there is that one jewelry store, but…” 

Vanesssa rolled her eyes. “Eduardo, I don’t really care why they broke in, only that they did! I’m going to call the cops. You get up here right now!” 

Eduardo started to answer then stopped. “You can’t call the cops. I think the phone lines are down. I tried my phone earlier…” 

“What?” Vanessa yanked out her cellphone and tried to call 911, but there was nothing, no signal, nothing at all. She brought her walkie up again. “Why are the cellphones out?” 

Eduardo shrugged. “The storm knocked them out before work. Didn’t you know?” 

“Well, obviously I didn’t know!” Vanessa yelled as she frantically tried to find any sign of Joker and Harley on the camera, but she still didn’t see them anywhere. “Eduardo, just get back here okay? We need to be together on this!” 

Eduardo started to reply, but that was when Vanessa saw a very short, very grumpy looking clown sneaking up on her partner from behind. Vanessa screamed into her walkie. “EDUARDO!! BEHIND YOU!!” 

She watched in horror as Eduardo turned around only to have the little clown punch him in the balls. Vaness watched as her partner fell to the ground. “Oh shit.” 

“Ooo...that looked nasty.” 

Vanessa spun around. She hadn’t heard the door open, but Joker and Harley were standing in the doorway, a large tutu wearing man just behind them. 

Joker grinned at her. “Well, Merry Christmas darling.” 

Harley waved at her. “Merry Christmas!” 

Both Harley and Joker stepped out of the way with Joker motioning. “Bob, would you mind?” 

Vanessa was shaking like a leaf as she held up her baton. “Don't come any closer! I’m a security guard and I’m not afraid to use this baton!” 

Joker leaned around Bob’s massive form. “Now don’t be rude dear, Bob is just going to tie you up. “ He shook his head exchanging a look with Harley. “Hostages these days are just so rude.” 

Harley nodded looking sad. “I know puddin. It’s crazy out there ya know, everyone acting so bezonkers, no one knowing what they’re doing. Hostages fighting back, giant batmen, taxes...it’s all so crazy.” 

Joker nodded looking wise. “Yes. I miss the good old days when you could just walk into a place and everyone knew to get on the ground or you would blow their heads off. But nowadays, people like to...I don’t know...talk back, act like they can fight you. I blame social media.” Joker nodded sagely. “Everyone thinks they are immune because of social media, making them anonymous, now they think that translates into: ‘I don’t have to listen to the bad guys.’” 

While Harley and Joker spoke, Bob grabbed at Vanessa before the security guard could do more than swing her baton once, the sturdy plastic stick hitting Bob on one of his beefy arms, yet bouncing with no sign of damage. Bob frowned and wrapped a large hand around the security guard’s wrist yanking her close. Vanessa continued to struggle while Joker and Harley talk. 

“I don’t know if it's all social media puddin. I think the lack of respect might come from video games too.” Harley ventured. 

Joker shook his head. “Nah, I was violent before video games.” 

Harley pursed her lips.“Or maybe it has more to do with both parents working and kids are coming home to empty houses, you know? Or maybe it's just because everyone thinks they can be Batman or something?” Harley shrugged. “Or, it could be the movies too.” 

Joker made a face. “Ugh, more Batman. That is one thing Gotham doesn’t need. You know Harls--victims need to just learn their place. The bad guy comes in, you either beg for your life or you drop to the floor and wait to see if you are going to live or die. You don’t fight back...” Joker made a huffing noise of annoyance. 

Vanessa continued to struggle. She hit Bob again, this time across the face, but the strike didn’t faze him at all, it didn't even cause the big man’s face to move. Vanessa hesitated then, a look of horror on her face that this man in the tutu could take being hit in the face without any reaction! That hesitation gave Bob the chance to grab her , pinning her arms to her side. He lifted her off her feet and squeezed. 

Harley wrapped her arms around Joker, hugging him tight. “I’m sorry puddin. Next time let’s not even bother with hostages--we’ll just shoot them okay?” 

Bob kept squeezing the security guard until finally she passed out. 

Joker wrapped his arms around Harley holding her close. “Thank you pumpkin. I would like that.” 

Bob turned around with a big grin, holding up the unconscious security guard. 

Joker looked over and smiled, giving Bob a thumbs up. “Thataboy Bob. Now, let’s tie her up and deposit her at the Food Court. Archie should be meeting you there with the other one.” Joker turned around with Harley to address Frost who had been waiting quietly behind them. 

“You’re sure there are only the two guards?” Joker asked. 

Frost nodded. “Yes Boss, only the two.” 

“Fantastic!” Joker beamed before he turned his grin on Harley. “How would you feel about some shopping my sweet? We could do an 80’s shopping montage!” 

Harley squealed happily. “I love shopping!! And I love montages!” 

She grabbed Joker by the hand and yanked him out of the security office at a run. Bob smiled and followed more sedately, falling into step beside Frost, with the unconscious Vanessa thrown over his shoulder. 

Joker yelled over his shoulder as Harley dragged him away. “Meet at the Build-A-Friend in a couple of hours!” 

Frost grinned at Bob. “I hear they have a funnel cake shop in the food court. How about the two of us head there after we drop the guard off and I’ll heat up the fryer?” 

Bob nodded with enthusiasm as the two men walked out together. 

* 

Joker finished picking the lock on the gate and threw it up, turning to grin at Harley. “Tada!!!” 

Harley giggled clapping her hands. “Bravo Mistah J!” 

Joker bowed. “Thank you, thank you. Now, shall we have a fashion show of underwear for your Mistah J?” He looked up and quirked a brow at her as he put his hand out to her. 

Harley giggled walking over and taking his hand. “Of course Mistah J.” 

Joker stopped for a moment. “Wait, why should you have all the fun!! I’m gonna try on some pretty things too!” 

Harley giggled happily. “Yeah!! I do love you in lacy panties puddin.” 

Joker grinned, kissing Harley’s hand. “Of course you do sweets, I’m the gift that just keeps on giving!” 

They both laughed as they headed into the store. 

* 

Down in the food court, Bob was happily making funnel cakes while Frost drizzled them in powdered sugar, handing them out to any gang members who came along. A handful of the gang members were in the food court. Some of them had opened up the sportings good store and were now having a game of dodgeball, which looked like it might turn brutal at any moment. Frost thought about stopping them before the game became too violent, but then shrugged. They had started using golf balls, which was becoming interesting and upping the violence. He wasn’t their babysitter; he was only Joker and Harley’s baby sitter and since he hadn’t heard any explosions and nothing was on fire, he could only assume they were happily doing something...or more likely doing each other. If they needed him, he would know. 

Frost handed Archie some funnel cake. “You gonna get in on the game?” he asked the short clown who shook his head. 

“Only if guns get involved, otherwise nah, I’ll just watch.” 

Frost chuckled. “Suit yourself.” 

* 

Harley came bursting out of the dressing room wearing a sheer caged teddy, which consisted of simple red ribbons that cut across her figure with sheer panels at her crotch and around her breasts, and a thong between her buttcheeks that ended with a big red bow at her lower back. 

Harley giggled, looking at herself in the floor-length mirror on the wall. 

“Hey puddin!! Hurry up!!” Harley twisted one way, then the other, admiring the bow on her rear when Joker came out of the dressing room with a wide grin on his red lips. 

Harley turned to see him, her expression going from amused to turned on as he spun around wearing a red, sheer, embroidered cut-out teddy with eyelash fringe and a bikini-style bottom and strapped that framed his hips. 

Harley grinned and growled. “Grrr...grrr...now that's what I call hot!” She stuck two of her fingers in her mouth and whistled at him. 

Joker turned and posed for her with one hand behind his head while placing his other hand on his hip and cocking it. “You like?” Joker batted his eyelashes at her. 

Harley nodded vigorously. “That red combined with your green hair puddin, it’s very Christmassy. Mama wants to unwrap her present!” Harley made grabbing motions at him coming over only to have Joker swat at her hands. “It’s Christmas Eve!! You can’t open any presents until tomorrow!” 

Harley pouted. “Not even one?” 

Joker narrowed his eyes at her, smirking. “I might consider letting you open one.” 

Harley squealed with delight. “Wanna try on something else?” 

Joker laughed. “Well, duh!” 

Harley giggled, hopping up and down before she race off into the store to grab something else. Joker watched her go, the large red ribbon on the back of her outfit bounced. 

“Mmm...I do love that ass,” he said with a grin. 

* 

Harley was once more out of her dressing room first, this time wearing a red embroidered sheer starburst pattern quarter cup pushup bra (no pasties) with four rows of rouleau straps in the back and a pair of matching thong panties. Joker came out of his dressing room a moment later wearing the same thing as Harley. 

They both looked at each other and pointed. “DITTO!” 

Harley giggled. “I can see your nipples puddin!” 

Joker grinned impishly at her. “Well I can see yours too pumpkin.” 

She did a little spin. “Like?” 

Joker’s grin widened. “Like.” 

Joker did his own spin. “Like?” 

Harley nodded, her eyes zeroing in on his bulge.” Yes sir!” 

Joker grinned striking a pose for her. He turned around to thrust his rear out towards her, putting a finger to his lips and giving her a mock innocent cheesecake pose. 

Harley giggled, coming over to pat his rear with both hands. 

Joker squeaked. “Really, so fresh! I’m not that type of girl!” 

Harley giggled. Joker turned around and grabbed Harley pulling her into his arms. 

“Mm...I love you my little pumpkin pie.” 

Harley purred. “I love too Mistah J.” 

Joker licked her lips and whispered. “How about we keeps these under our clothes and go check out another store?” 

Harley ran her hands over his chest. “Sounds good puddin.” 

* 

In the food court, the dodgeball game had turned into mostly chaos since someone had pulled out a tennis ball machine and was filling it with balls of frozen yogurt mixed in with baseballs and tennis balls. Frost sipped a cup of coffee and watched, pretty sure that one of the guys had a broken arm while the rest of the gang was screaming and laughing, all while large globs of frozen yogurt flew through the air. The floor had become slippery enough in some places that it was dangerous to walk. Frost had already watched at least three people slide across the floor, one of them crashing into the glass front of a store and shattering it. 

Frost glanced across the way to where Bob had broken into the kitchen of a Mexican place and was pulling food out to make burritos. He smiled, glancing upward to where he assumed Joker and Harley were still safely occupied with whatever it was they were doing on one of the upper floors. 

His gaze wandered over to the guards who had been fed some funnel cake and were now actually quietly watching the dodge ball game from two chairs in front of the kitchen where Bob was cooking. 

Vanessa gave him a dirty look, but Eduardo was busy telling Bob what he wanted on his burrito. 

* 

Inside Spencers, Harley stopped in front of the adult section, her eyes wide as she looked over the shelves full of items. 

“I don’t even know what half of this stuff does puddin,” Harley said with breathless awe as she picked up a waterproof, vibrating cockring in the shape of a long tailed scorpion. 

Joker held up a box that contained a collapsible stripper pole. “I think we need this in the hideout.” 

Harley glanced over after setting the package with the scorpion cockring down. “We do?” 

Joker nodded with a serious expression on his face. “Yes. I need this.” 

Harley narrowed her eyes with a playful smirk before she picked up a less strange looking cockring and, turning her attention to another shelf, she reached over and picked up something else. 

“Puddin...wanna try these out?” She grinned and held up a package that held a vibrating cockring inside and another package that contained bottles of flavored lubricant. “They have four different cupcake flavors.” 

Joker smiled, looking over the lube and cockring in Harley’s grasp. 

“I do love cupcakes, though I don’t have trouble keeping Mr. Fezziwig...firm with you.” He looked down pointedly at his penis, which was clearly becoming hard at the thought of licking cupcake flavored lube off of Harley. 

“No you don’t puddin, not at all. But…” Harley bit her bottom lip seductively. “It might be fun--it vibrates.” She waggled her eyebrows at him. 

Joker raised his green eyebrows at her. “Hohoho! Merry Christmas!” 

Harley licked her lips with a grin. “They have some beanbags in the back corner…” 

Joker set his box with the stripper pole down and walked quickly over to Harley, grabbing her by her wrist and hauled her off to the back of the store while Harley laughed with pleasure. 

* 

The back of the store was set up like a little listening area. The walls were painted black with neon painted graffiti with simple words like ROCK, HEAVY, and so on. There were several neon colored bean bags set around the area, looking like the perfect place to smoke a joint and listen to tunes. Joker released Harley and began to push the bean bags together creating a sort of “bed” before he began stripping out of his clothing. 

He glanced over at Harley with a lifted green brow. “Well?” 

Harley giggled and set her discoveries down and stripped until she was in the bra and panties she had taken from Victoria’s Secret. 

Joker stripped off his bra and panties, turning around to grab at Harley. She squealed as he twisted her around, unhooking her bra before he unceremoniously yanked her panties down her legs. 

Harley stepped out of them, continuing to giggle as Joker shoved her back causing her to fall backwards into the beanbags. 

Joker plopped down beside her with a loud rush of air from the bean bags, grabbing up the package of assorted lubes and tore them open. “Mm...let’s see. We have...oh look, they heat up…” He grinned at her before turning his attention back to the lubes in his hands. “Mm...devil’s food cake, angel food cake, lemon chiffon, and strawberry shortcake...I think I’m in the mood for some devil’s food cake.” Joker tore through the plastic to free the lube he wanted before he set the others aside. 

He pushed himself up from the beanbags and pulled Harley’s legs apart to sit on his knees between them, the bottle in his hands. He held up the bottle of lube as if he had discovered a prize-worthy of his wife. 

“Now for some Christmas cake!” Joker announced as he opened the bottle and poured the chilly gooey liquid onto her breasts, stomach, and pelvis. 

Harley squealed and shivered. “It’s cold!!” 

Joker grinned at her, showing off his rows of perfect white teeth framed by his red lips. “OH, I’ll take care of that sweets, don’t you worry.” 

He reached out to lay his hands against her skin and spread his fingers. Harley giggled, sighing softly as Joker ran both hands through the sticky liquid, pressing his fingers against her. His hands snaked upward toward her breasts, smearing the liquid against her already soft skin. He began to knead slowly, his thumbs sliding over her hard nipples while he cupped and massaged her breasts. 

Harley moaned arching her back. The liquid began to warm, sending a tingling sensation through her skin. She stretched her arms over her head, grabbing at the beanbag with a low groan as Joker dragged his hands down her torso. He grinned, watching the way the liquid made her skin shine. He glided his hands lower through the sweet, sticky mess down along her stomach to her hips. He squeezed her hips, his thumbs tracing the lines that defined her groin. He licked his lips, watching the way his fingers pressed into her skin, listening to the way Harley moaned. He slid his hands along her hips, spreading the liquid down over her groin and lower, pressing his thumbs along the tender skin where her legs met her groin. 

Harley’s moans of pleasure made Joker bite his bottom lip, hot pulses of need moved through his body. This was the best Christmas present, the teasing that would accumlate into fucking his wife hard and slow. He smirked, dragging his sticky thumbs over her sex, gently pressing the oily, sticky lube against her, and spreading her so he could slide his gooey thumbs against her, finding her clitoris. He grinned and rubbed slowly, then switched to using his entire hand to spread the warming liquid against her. He spread the liquid to every part of her sex before focusing on her clitoris again with one thumb. 

Harley groaned loudly as the warm, tingling sensation began to seep into her skin and spread throughout her body. Joker continued to slowly rub and knead, the sensation intensifying. The heat made her feel overly sensitive, her clitoris throbbing with the beat of her heart, swelling. Then Joker slid two fingers into her, continuing his thumb’s gentle massage over her until Harley came with a cry. 

Joker grinned watching her writhe while he rubbed her sensitive flesh; at the same time his fingers moved in and out of her, hooking and thrusting, finding that cherry of a spot that he knew made Harley scream. When she orgasmed again, he leaned down to cover her with his mouth. Joker leaned in, dragging his tongue over her, grinning when she bucked against him. “Mm...tastes good,” he whispered. “Like a piece of cake.” He covered her clitoris with his mouth, his tongue slipping and sliding tenderly along her. He grinned at the wet sound of his fingers moving in and out of her, the wetness a testament to how turned on Harley was right now. He loved that sound, that wet sound of her. He groaned, sucking on her clitoris gently, the warming lube make his lips tingle. Harley cried out arching her back, her hands dropping down to grab at her husband’s green hair. She arched her hips into his attention, gasping softly, her breath catching when his tongue slid over her back and forth. Joker was a master with his tongue, she thought as she squeezed her eyes shut and smiled, digging her fingers into his hair tighter. 

Joker groaned moving his mouth over her, his lips and tongue tingling pleasantly from the lube. He grabbed one of her legs, brought it up over his shoulder to press his cheek against the soft skin of her thigh, his tongue swirling over her clitoris while his fingers delved deep inside her. Joker pressed his lips against her, sucking against her, while his erection throbbed with each gasp that she made. 

Harley arched again, crying out another orgasm that rolled over her until she was sure she saw Christmas lights exploding. She wasn’t sure how much more she could take. 

She shoved at his head. “My turn! Stop!!” 

Joker looked up, his blue eyes looking slightly dazed, his lips and chin glistening wetly in the store’s dull lighting. “What?” 

Harley grinned. “My turn.” 

She sat up grabbing at the bottle of lube until she found the angel food cake and the cockring. She opened the box with deft fingers, frowning when she saw that she had to insert the vibrator part. “Why don’t these things come already assembled!” she murmured darkly. 

Joker chuckled licking and rubbing his lips together, tasting the combination of artificial devil’s food cake and Harley on his lips. “We don’t really need it…” he said, but Harley shook her head. 

“Nope, it’ll be fun.” She wrinkled her nose playfully at him, then squealed with delight when she got the tiny vibrator into the little plastic slot of the cockring. 

“Okay puddin--come here.” Harley grinned devilishly. 

Joker moved closer as Harley slid to the edge of the beanbag. She held the bottle of lube up and dribbled it over his erection, causing Joker to hiss a little as the cool liquid hit him, but then Harley’s hand was sliding over him, working the liquid all around his shaft, covering him in a glossy, sticky film. 

Joker grunted in pleasure. Harley’s hand moved up and down, the liquid beginning to tingle. “Mm, that feels nice.” 

Harley grinned rubbing the head of his erection between her fingers, coating him in the warm, wet, tingling liquid. “Okay, hold still. I’m going to slide this on.” Joker chuckled thrusting his hips out toward her, but then bit his bottom lip as Harley slid the cockring down to the base of his erection. 

She looked up at him with a smile. “I won’t turn it on just yet…” 

Joker giggled. “My motor is always running pretty high, sweets.” 

Harley smirked. “Well, this will make it run just a little higher. Like nitro.” 

She grinned at him and licked the end of his erection. Joker jerked and hissed with pleasure. Harley leaned down and forward, wrapping her hand around him, sliding her lips over him, taking his entire erection into her mouth until her nose bumped the cock ring. 

Joker shuddered, his hands going to her head when Harley wiggled her tongue against him, sliding her tongue back and forth before sucking hard and deep on him. 

Harley giggled around him, tasting the angel food cake lube on her lips, tongue, and all over his slick erection. She cupped his balls, squeezing gently while she pulled her lips back up, focusing her attention on the head of his erection. She circled her tongue over him before sucking gently, then tenderly bit her way down the side of his shaft. She moved her mouth back up again, only this time she sucked slowly. 

Joker jerked and groaned in response. The cockring made him more sensitive, harder, the entire sensation was thrilling and, almost overwhelming. The flicks of Harley’s tongue had him shuddering, but when she wrapped those pretty lips around him and sucked...his entire body felt weak, the pleasurable wave she sent rolling through him was entirely too wonderful, too sinful...He chuckled softly in the back of his throat, caressing the sides of her face. He pressed his lips together and looked down at her, trembling as he watched her running her tongue over the head of his erection. When she glanced up at him with her big blue eyes, Joker sucked in his bottom lip stiffening as he fought off an orgasm. Harley and those damn gorgeous eyes of hers, he thought. 

Harley released him with a pop of her lips. She grinned at him, licking the shine off her lips. 

“Mm…I like angel food cake.” She giggled, reaching down to the cock ring. “Now, let’s see what this does puddin.” She flicked on the vibrator. 

Joker jerked and groaned as the vibrator sent a rippling tickle down down the length of his erection and up though his stomach. It was a little strange, but he had to admit--it felt good. 

He giggled, putting his hands on his hips and thrusting out his erection. “Look Harley! I’m a living vibrator, I come with vibrating and sucking action.” 

Harley giggled, crawling back onto the beanbags. “Wanna share?” 

Joker waggled his eyebrows at her. “Oh do I! It’s Christmas, the season of sharing!!” 

He dropped down on top of her, lifting one of her legs over his shoulder and slid into her. Harley gasped as the vibrating part of the cock ring pressed against her clitoris. Joker leaned into her, pressing her leg back to her shoulder as he began to thrust, slow, long, deep thrusts, pressing the vibrating against her. 

Joker thrust up with a hiss. “I love Christmas!” 

Harley’s laughter mixed with her groan as Joker thrust up, pressing the virbrator against her causing her entire body to shudder. His mouth captured hers in a deep kiss. She could taste angel food cake, devil’s food and herself on his mouth. He twisted his tongue with hers, thrusting slow and hard into her, pressing the vibrating part of the cock ring right up against her until she was shivering with another orgasm. 

* 

Frost frowned from where he leaned against the counter of one of the food joints in the mall’s food court, the food court was a mess. All the tables and chairs were knocked over, melting frozen yogurt lay splattered everywhere, as well as an assortment of tennis balls, some arrows (someone had found bows and arrows in the sporting goods store) and a handful of baseballs . There were a handful of injuries, but no one was dead (much to Archie’s disappointment). “All right guys, everyone head up to Build-a-Friend! I think it's time to build some teddy bears!” 

Frost glanced over at Bob who was finishing off his third burrito.” Whatdaya think, big guy? Been a couple of hours, maybe a little more?” 

Bob grinned and nodded vigorously. 

Frost smiled and pushed off the counter. “All right. Everyone follow me, and someone carry Ian over there!” 

Frost, with Bob at his side, headed over to the escalators to head up to the next floor where the Build-a-Friend store was located. 

* 

Harley had forced Joker onto his back. He groaned, reaching up to squeeze her breasts as she rode him, grinding herself against him and the vibrator. He pressed his teeth into his bottom lip, watching her throw her head back and arch her beautiful body. She reached back behind her and grabbed his knees, rubbing herself against the vibrator. She was so wet and he was so sensitive! She cried out, thrusting her body forward, flooding him with another orgasm. She squeezed his knees, her body tensing as the high intensity flush of pleasure rolled over her; she couldn’t focus on anything but what she was feeling. It was the most intense orgasm she had ever had. 

Joker jerked, thrusting his hips up, coming with his own cry. He felt as if Harley had yanked the climax from him, pulling his orgasm from him, but he didn’t soften, he was still as hard as a rock and so sensitive that her grinding, rolling moves had him shuddering as his orgasm rippled over him in continuous waves, making him wonder if they would ever stop, and did he really care if they didn’t? 

* 

Bob flung open the gates to the Build-A-Friend stepping in to turn on the lights. The gang flooded the store with the brothers Sickle and Hammer carrying in the bags that held the Joker gas bombs and the regular bombs. 

Frost frowned glancing over at Bob. “You know where the Boss and Harley are? I haven’t heard a peep, so now I’m getting a little worried. Thought for sure they would show up when the tennis ball machine was pulled out.” 

Bob shrugged and frowned, glancing over at two more of the gang, Big Barb and Milton who had brought the two guards with them. 

Frost glanced outside into the body of the mall. “Maybe I should go look for them. You got this under control buddy?” 

Bob nodded, walking over and pulling a gas bomb out of the sack that the brothers had brought up with a big grin on his face. 

Frost smiled and patted Bob on the shoulder. “Okay buddy. I’ll be back.” 

Bob nodded and hurried inside excited to make himself several teddy bears. 

* 

Joker wrapped his arms around Harley from behind, pulling her close against him. She had one leg wrapped around him, her rear pressed up against him while he thrust into her. She was making the most delicious sounds, combined with the sloppy wetness of her while he was writhing with the intensity of pleasure. He continued to fuck her even after his orgasm, driving them both to the edge again. It felt so good, good enough that he felt overly sensitive to every move, every sound that she made, every movement of her body. He was lost in her. 

Joker nuzzled her throat, licking her sweaty skin before biting her ear. Harley responded with a groan, her muscles squeezing around him, intensifying the pleasure of thrusting into her. He reached up to grasp one of her breasts, thrusting harder while Harley cried out. Her cries of pleasure turning to whimpers as she grasped his leg, pulling his knee up between her legs… 

* 

Frost frowned. He thought he heard Harley yell. He moved slowly following the sound, his cheeks red, but he needed to let the Boss and Harley know the gang were at the Build-a-Friend store… 

* 

Harley curled up against Joker after easing the cock ring off of him and dropping it to the floor. Joker gathered her up and held her close, covering her face in kisses. “I think we should take a bag of those home with us,” he murmured. “Along with my stripper pole and some flavored lube.” 

Harley giggled. “How about some vibrating panties too?” 

Joker grinned nuzzling her ear. “Anything my pumpkin pie wants for Christmas, she can have.” 

Joker caught her chin and lifted her face to kiss her when they both heard a nervous Frost call out. “Boss? Miss Harley? You guys in there? Ah, the gang’s at the Build-a-Friend ...” 

Joker grinned and called out. “We’ll be there shortly, Frosty darling!! Unless you wanna come back here and help me get my bra on!” 

Harley broke into a fit of giggles. 

* 

Frost looked confused and mouthed. “Bra?” 

“Ah, no thanks Boss, if it’s all the same to you….” He called back only to hear Joker yell. “Oh fine!! Harley will help me then! Meet you there in a few minutes!!” 

* 

When Joker and Harley arrived at the Build-a-Friend arm in arm they found Frost leaning on the rail outside the shop and smoking a cigarette. When he saw the Boss and Harley he smiled and stood up straight, flicking his cigarette over the edge. 

“Hey Boss, Miss Harley.” 

Harley waved. “Hey Frost, you ain’t making a bear or something else adorable?” 

Frost smiled and shook his head. “Not for me Miss Harley.” 

Joker pouted. “It’s Christmas Frosty!” 

Frost shrugged. “Well...if you insist Boss.”

Joker grinned. “You know it's Christmas, Frost my darling. You do whatever you want.” 

Frost looked relieved as Joker and Harley turned to enter the store. As they headed inside, the two of them saw the two guards from earlier sitting near the entrance still tied up. Someone had taken some of the clothing from the shop that was meant for the toys and used on the guards (Joker was going to guess it was Bob who was sitting on the floor next to them with two teddy bears he had made, one dressed as a sailor and the other looked like a police bear. Bob was making the bears kiss.) Little Christmas additions had been made to the guards’ uniforms with little Christmas bows, tiny Santa Claus hats on their heads, and little teddy bears dressed as elves on their laps. 

Harley squealed when she saw them. “Don’t they just look adorable puddin!!!” 

The female guard glared at her, but her mouth was duct-taped shut and she couldn’t respond. Bob looked up from playing to smile brightly at seeing them. 

Joker chuckled. “What a cute couple of elves. So, Harley shall we ...” 

That was when they heard someone inside shout loudly. “OH SHIT!” Followed by someone else yelling. “ARCHIE!!” 

A moment later there was a loud explosion, followed by screaming, and the sudden exiting of Joker’s gang followed by a plume of green smoke accompanied by the shrill laughter of those who didn’t run fast enough, except for Archie who came walking out of the store with a black teddy bear tucked under his arm. 

Archie stopped in front of Joker and Harley. “Sorry Boss, I was trying for one of the regular bombs, but got them mixed up and set off one of the laughing gas ones. I think Razor, Vinnie, Donny, and Pipes might be dead. Maybe Maples too, but she was still on the floor laughing. Anyway the others laughed themselves to death, the lucky bastards.” 

Joker frowned and Harley giggled. “Guess after Christmas we should do some recruiting again puddin.” 

Joker giggled and threw his arms up in the air. “Well...MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!”


End file.
